So at a rush week event at his frat's non-frat-affiliated house, I met DB. Actually, I kind of fell into DB's lap as I drunkenly stumbled down the stairs after using the restroom. We went upstairs and hung out with a group of about 5 of his brothers. He was fun to talk to, but I was drunk and found him to be kind of dorky. When the party was over, all of us came out and we ran into another brother in the hall, KF. KF had been messing up my name, and when he got it right, I kissed him on the lips in front of everyone. KF walked me home.

A couple weeks later I went to coffee with KF. KF and I had no attraction at all, and when I brought up the hilarity of the night, KF asked if I remembered DB. I said I remembered him vaguely. KF told me DB had gotten upset with him, and that the day after the party DB had IMed him, telling him he’d been trying to get with me. This made me laugh so hard. First, I hadn’t really gotten that vibe from DB. Second, why would you be mad if you’d just met the chick?! I say shrug your shoulders and wait till the next party.

Anyway, I was so amused at DB’s anger toward his frat bro who I didn’t even like that I decided to facebook message DB. I left a cutesy comment on his wall, asking him what was up since I hadn’t seen him in a few weeks. He responded back. He ended up inviting me over to his frat that Thursday to play some beer pong with a few people. We ended up sharing an awkward kiss at the end of the night and he drove me home. This happened a few times. I even spent the night a couple times (It was all very chaste, as I decided I liked this boy and didn’t want to mess things up by moving very fast. Plus, DB is very religious.)

A couple more weeks went by and I really decided I liked DB (though I was hanging out at SW’s when I wasn’t at DB’s frat). Then, after their big Halloween party, DB just stopped talking to me. Wouldn’t respond to IMs, texts, or anything else. A good friend of mine in the frat told me DB was just busy. We didn’t talk for 3 weeks and then I went to the frat’s next party. I know like 20 guys in the house so it wasn’t a big deal, but I still felt awkward when I ran into him in the upstairs hall on my way to the restroom. The next day I went to the gym with one of the girlfriends of one of the brothers. She told me that DB had acted oddly at the Halloween party the next morning. He’d woken up before me and had been sitting in her bf’s room chatting with them and then he said, “J, I feel odd about something… come look.” And he showed her and two of the brothers the poor girl (me) whom he’d been leading on.

This makes me angry because not only does half the house now know something was going on, but a few saw and now believe more was happening than actually did. Also, he never said anything to me; he just stopped talking to me. How cowardly. For that, I lost all respect for DB.
Bottom line: If you don’t have feelings for someone who clearly likes you, don’t hook up with them, and if you do, talk to them about your feelings and set them straight. Not being honest makes it awkward. Being honest at least gives you a chance at friendship.


This post was originally written by E3
University of Michigan · Undecided · 04 Dec 2006