You know what's incredible? Facebook. Now that is an incredible thing. A brilliantly engineered and excellent example of ingenuity and know how. Mark Zuckerberg, the twenty-something creator of the website, struck gold with this idea, and in some ways, I am attempting to do the same. If anything, I'm learning a great deal about the Internet and how it functions, and I suppose I might as well have a vested interest in a tool that I and hundreds of millions of other people use for hours every day. But why do I bring up Facebook? Because, I realized that there is one thing that The College Answers is missing (No I haven't gotten that offer for billions of dollars...yet). That thing is continuity. People typically enjoy things that they can trust and a lot of time on the Internet is spent reaffirming what we already believe. Okay, enough of the existentialist mumbo-jumbo, what I'm really saying is that I'm going to start Weekly or Bi-Weekly Columns that all have to deal with a similar topic. Enough of the random jumping around from one topic to the next. Lets really get into it. Lets really dig into some of the things that fascinate me, and in doing so, hopefully they will fascinate you. The first regular column from The College Answers is going to deal with Facebook, and with Groups on Facebook in particular.

Groups on Facebook have been there since the start of it all. There are so many out there and I get the sense that people may take some of them for granted. There are a couple really huge ones that everyone is in, but then there are also those five or six people groups that are strictly inside jokes. In the next week, I'll try and look at some different ones and find the really bizarre ones. Who knows, I might just pick one of yours. If you have a suggestion as to a group I should showcase on The College Answers, I encourage you to send me the link and name of it via our Contact Us form. So, lets see what happens...

Fo' real tho... who threw that turkey at me?!?! (Found by searching "Turkey")
Our very first Facebook Group. This group is for people in the Michigan Network only. I don't understand it, but lets try and look a little deeper and see what sense we can make of it. Alright. The Group doesn't have a particular "Type" so that doesn't really help us out at all. The description given is as follows:

Cot damn butterball Turkey! I'm just tryin' to get PAID!

You've all heard the story... now share it with everyone you know... and represent.

Well, I can't say that I've heard this story, but if I did, I'm sure I would share it with people I know. Anyway, the group was started by Hannah Dewhirst. Dewhirst is obviously a Michigan student (that's why the group is only for Michigan network), and she considers herself a Liberal. I don't want to go much further than that, because I feel like I'm violating privacy laws or something. If you want to get in touch with this group, you can find their office at Kroger: Lane 7. For those not in the know, Kroger is a large supermarket, and obviously the humorous creator was referring to where someone could find a Turkey, Lane 7. I'm probably going to have to check the validity of this. There are no uploaded photos, videos, or posted items. There is one Discussion Topic listed. It is entitled "Bad Bum Breath." It was posted on February 4th, 2007 at 9:39pm. The poster wrote:

I witnessed a bum tryin to steal a 5 pack gum....do bums really needa worry bout they bref?

I'd have to say that's quite articulate, if nothing else. The picture used in the upper right hand corner of the group is a frozen turkey. Some of the related groups are: Dakota Fanning Is Fucking Creepy., My Mom Says I'M a Catch!, Portland, Oregon is the Greatest City on Earth, The Family Guy, and Zelda Is God-like Group. With all the excitement that this group has to offer, there are only 7 members. How sad!



If Ann Coulter Was My Mom, I'd Have Hung Myself From The Umbilical Cord (Found by searching "Cord")
Our first Global Group. See now it all makes sense. This is what the world looks for when it uses a social networking website. Regardless, lets go through some of the details in order to get a full understanding of this ridiculous place. Luckily, this group has a "Type" and that is: Common Interest - Beliefs & Causes. I'm not sure if thats the most accurate, but I'm not here to judge. I want to discuss the picture used to showcase this group next. It is a cartoon image of a women with flowing blond hair, scantily clad in a policewoman's uniform, and it looks like there is a swasticka arm band around the woman. The heading reads, "Miss September 1939." There is a quote below it that states, "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity." The quote is attributed to Ann Coulter, Republican Pinup Girl und Partei Sprecherin dated September 13th, 2001. The description is short but very funny,

It's not that I condone suicide, I just know that Ann wouldn't have the courtesy to abort me.

Dean Moriarty is the creator of this group, and he doesn't belong to any networks. There are some officers in this group. Dean is "Tucker Carlson...(bowtie included)", followed by Emily Beard out of Western Michigan who is "Patti Smith (2nd in Command)", and finally Doug Wolf from KVCC who is "Sean Hannity." I can't say I know what's going on here. Some related groups include:

Global Students against the Westboro Baptist Church
Plainwell Choirs
For Every 1,000 that join this group I will donate $1 for Darfur.
Vincent Ceburn Judge Brigance: A Man for the New Century
PHS Musicals

I'd have to say that sometimes some of the related groups even outdo the main one. Who finds these people? There is only one discussion topic, posted by Doug Wolf (one of our Officers) and he said, "she has an adam's apple.
and a deep voice." You're right Doug, I'm sure you've met Ann Coulter. There are 6 wall posts, most of them bashing Ann Coulter, except Doug Wolf shows up again. It appears as though he's not as cool as we once thought. He asked Dean Moriarty (the group's creator) to make him an officer with the name "Sean Hannity." Gotcha Wolf. The group has 19 people in it. This is miraculous to me. The power of the Internet shines through with this group. Who would think that 19 people could agree upon the statement, "If Ann Coulter Was My Mom, I'd Have Hung Myself From The Umbilical Cord." Utterly ridiculous!

Come back tomorrow for some new groups! I can't wait to rip on some more. If you have an idea for a word or group I should write about, please Contact Us! Be smart. Be aware. Be the solution!

This post was originally written by The College Answers
University of Michigan · Organizational Studies · 08 Oct 2007