When I came here on July 25 for my freshman orientation, I was ECSTATIC. I met a good friend, Lisa, and she and I walked all over the town whispering about how COOL it was we were going to be living in Ann Arbor, how AWESOME it was that all the neat shops were right down the road in our State St. and Liberty area. We couldn't wait for classes to start. And we also couldn't wait to kiss our first college guy. She and I soon learned this was a load of shit. I'm going to do a bit of myth busting for you:
Myth #1-"OMG... We have Urban Outfitters AND American Apparel within a block of each other?! I will be there every week and I will totally buy all the cutest stuff!!!”
No, you won’t. You’ll spend a whole lot of money there during your first month here, realize that no one really cares about your cutesy new tops and see how little money you have in your bank account and avoid that side of the street for the rest of the semester. Instead, you’ll start to realize the need for caffeine and find yourself across the street at Starbucks.
Bottom line: Clothes will be the last priority on your list of things to spend your precious cash on.
Myth #2- “OMG… I’m going to drink a latte with all my best buds every morning!”
Haha, you stupid child. First of all, have you ever had to pay for your own latte? Well dear, the good ones cost over $3. Second, your best buds and you are going to be very busy and probably unable to organize more than two weekly meetings. Third, and this makes me laugh hardest: MORNING. LMAO… if you don’t have to, you won’t be out of bed before noon, no matter how many hours you sleep.
Bottom line: You don’t have the money, time, or energy for morning coffee dates with your friends.
Myth #3- “OMG… but I’ll still be able to have my latte.”
No, you won’t. First of all, those things have bajillions of calories you really should not be consuming, and second, they cost a lot. Pretty soon you’ll realize the benefit of drinking a freaking cup of normal coffee (no sugar and just a TEENSY bit of half & half). Not only does a Venti coffee cost only $1.86 compared to the double you’d be paying for a latte, and it has about 15 calories. You can’t beat that. Now pick a blend (try the Ethiopia Sidamo or Sumatra) and shut the hell up, you pretentious snob.
Bottom line: Drink coffee; it’s light on the wallet, and your gut.
Myth #4- “OMG… I’m going to meet the boy of my dreams my first semester here!”
Ok, for starters, every freshman guy I know came in with a girlfriend. They all broke up pretty soon after their arrivals because they wanted to “play the field.” They didn’t do it so they could date you. No freshman boy wants to commit. Neither do upperclassmen. They want your booty. It’s all about freshman booty till next year you aren’t freshman booty.
Bottom line: Hold off on dating for a while. Not everyone’s intentions are so pure.
Myth #5- “OMG… I can so totally ace my classes.”
Ha, no you can’t. I have a friend with a 3.9. She has no life. When we party, she’s at conferences. When I’m at club team practice, she’s at the UGLi. It’s hard to do. Sometimes, there is nothing wrong with a B.
Bottom Line: Work hard, do the best you can, and don’t expect to do as well as you did in high school.
Myth #6- “OMG… There is no way I will gain the freshman 15.”
It may not be 15 pounds, but you will gain weight. When I first got here, I lost 6 pounds. I was the skinniest I’d been in 4 years. Then I got used to dorm food and gained the weight back. Then I started lifting weights to help with my club sport. Then I started playing my club sport. I gained 5 more pounds. I needed that weight to play effectively, but I am now 5 pounds heavier than when I came here. My jeans still fit, and I don’t look like a larder, but I did gain weight. It’s a reality. I eat right, and stay active. I’m one of the few people who needed a weight gain. My ex roomie, Karen the Douchebag, gained a good 10 pounds in her first month. Constant boozing will do that to you. So will EasyMac. In my room, I have hoarded fruit, some granola bars, gum, water, graham crackers and peanut butter for when I snack (with the occasional baked goods from home). Karen had EasyMac, cookies, soda, Slimfast (she didn’t use it for meal replacement, but as a drink), candy, and LOTS of chips and popcorn. We didn’t share, and that was fine by me. Oh, and you better hit the gym at least 4 days a week and when you’re there you need about an hour of work.
Bottom line: Do your best to eat right, but don’t stress if you gain a few pounds. It’s normal.
Myth #7- “OMG… My roommate and I are going to be best buds!”
Um, go read my entry titled “What they DON’T tell you about rooming blind” and tell me what you think. It’s usually not that bad, but most roommates have outside friends who mean a whole lot more anyway. I never even bothered to be friends with that bitch after Welcome Week.
Bottom line: YOU ARE WRONG
I probably will add more in a later entry.
This post was originally written by E3
University of Michigan · Undecided · 13 Feb 2007
